do you think I’m wrong? about myself?

I think I’m not the nicest person to know I’m an asshole, in my own way I’m selfish and hedonistic I’m careless, and just because I’m being nice to you it doesn’t mean I’m this way with everyone.

I’ve been called strange quirky, neurodivergent maybe you believe I’m straight out psycho I’m full of shit, and negativity I’m not depressed or anything maybe I’m just a bit broken

but don’t think small of myself

I’m just allowing a part of me to sink into darkness to make another one shine bright

I am just letting most things go just to hold tight onto the few I care about

most people simply do not exist for me as I only exist for a restricted number of them

and the same goes for trust

even if my favorite word is ‘disentanglement’ I still get stuck on things

on people

I’m a contradiction a disaster under damage control

I send random texts to strangers in the middle of the night afraid to scare them away while still wanting to know them a word more