everybody’s got a secret, would you like to tell me yours?
I can’t leave, I can’t turn away from a world like this one I could save myself, or let you save me
everybody’s got a secret, and I don’t know if I want to tell you mine
I’m just made of poorly written messy, meaningless notes
I’m sitting on a bed that doesn’t feel mine where I scream, in silence I thought I was that book you know the one you misjudged by its cover
I thought I was a survivor I’m just an asshole, “all martyrdom and no salvation” no redemption, not for me
I choose a mask between many the most comfortable for every situation I’m not afraid of anything because on the inside, I’m empty I stage battles to count my wins I don’t care about living forever I just want to die a winner
I live a play, a recital and I’m good at it, I think I’m the best the best, at being wrong
I get off the stage and nobody knows who I am
neither do I
and every time, I get closer to that rock bottom clenching my fists at the bottom of my abyss
and would you even know
sometimes I’m just so far away that I don’t even know what I’d fear the most
to not find myself anymore or to find myself again
I’m next to forget everything I’m next to be forgotten
I’m tearing apart old pictures of me thousands of eyes stare at me from the blankets’ folds, from the shadows
around me, the plaster begins to peel off the walls revealing dirty, cracked bricks
the ceiling is a cobweb a multitude of spiders is descending toward me
behind the photos were written notes but they get blurry under salty drops
my ears are ringing my heart is pounding my head is bursting
and I just don’t care
everybody’s got a secret and I just don’t know if I want to know
yours