I think in black
I hope you are regretting me now that I get to be everywhere
yet I’m just an orphan alone against the world
you’d like to think I’m just laying low in the background
hoping someone notices me, yet I’m not allowing anyone to see me leaving everything unspoken
burying myself
my liver is aching my bottle is never empty I don’t want to sober up grow up I just don’t want to give up
I thought I was a soldier but I might be the whole army
I pick up where you leave
I’m not a loser
I’m watching the sky getting darker sitting in a room too small for my dreams
I am pushing everyone away
I’m wrestling with my mind holding my thoughts as if they were candles to light up my broken path
I’m holding on to my memories as if they were the only life I had
you act like I owe you kindness like I should commit but I can’t be told what to be what to do, who to chase down
I don’t want all the small things
I’m thinking back
I hope you are missing me now that I don’t miss you that much
I don’t want to be left alone yet I don’t want anyone near me
I don’t need you yet